Sunday, December 28, 2008

Conflict in Relationships Have Negative Effects

Some couples have serious issues with constantly arguing in a relationship. In many cases, fighting happens so often that it becomes a type of bad habit in the relationship, happening ridiculously frequently.It makes friends and loved ones very uncomfortable around you, and it can ultimately cause a break up in the relationship.

The first nasty result of constant fighting and arguing in a relationship is that there are harsh words said that cause harsh feelings. Saying, I'm sorry, is often not enough of a band-aid for some people. Many times, when people are angry at each other, even if they care a great deal for each other, they say things that they later regret and, at the time, do not even mean. Even if the argument is over and all is forgiven, this type of harshness sometimes hangs over into the relationship far after the altercation is over. Another thing these types of arguments can lead to is physical violence from either party. This is definitely a place you do not want this arguing to escalate to.

Another thing that can happen if you happen to argue with each other in the company of other people is that people will no longer wish to be around you as a couple. Having someone argue in front of you makes for a very uncomfortable situation. If this happens on such a regular basis that you become known for it, people will begin to decline social invitations, and may begin to avoid you both all together. Being known for constantly bickering is not a good way to be remembered by friends.

One final bad result of arguing all the time with your mate is probably the most obvious. Eventually, the arguing will become tiresome and too hurtful to bear. When this happens, it ultimately could lead to the break up of the relationship. Though at the time, breaking up may be the desirable alternative to consistent bickering, it is probably not the ultimate desire when the relationship first started. If you can find a way to get past the things that have been said before and forgive, you may be able to keep the relationship from falling apart.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Types of Divorce Review

The first type of divorce is an uncontested divorce. This type of divorce is where both parties are in full agreement of all of the details of the divorce and they both agree to sign all of the paperwork. One benefit of getting an uncontested divorce is that it will be over quick and painlessly.
The next type of divorce is a default divorce. The papers for this type of divorce are just like all the other types of divorce but the process for going about getting the divorce is different. You will draw up the set of Texas divorce papers with your lawyer with all of the correct information. At the end of it you will sign the papers. Your spouse will then be served with the final paperwork and will have to sign it.
The last type of divorce is called a Missing Spouse Divorce. The title of this divorce pretty much explains what type it is. If you are looking to get a divorce and don't where your spouse is at the present time, you can file for this type of divorce. They have a process that they will go through in filing the papers to make sure that everything is done by Texas state law. No matter what state your spouse is in, you can use this type of divorce.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Divorce - An Awakening

One of the questions thought about after a divorce is: "When did it start? Actually, that is a relatively simple thing to answer. Let me start first by saying that it does not happen before a judge in a courtroom. That is only the legal formality of severing the legal bonds, and again, like legally being unbound from a "marriage," gives notice to third parties that you are now legally apart and no longer restricted to the "marriage." The divorce takes place long before you get to the courtroom. In fact, the truth is, like a true marriage takes place long before the wedding ceremony, the divorce takes place before you ever have the wedding ceremony. It just had not had time to be activated. But, I know that you would rather have a less abstract way of thinking about it. So, let's bring it up to, and in the time frame of say, your having lived together for five years. During that time you see the wheels falling off the wagon. You haven't made up your mind to leave the mess you're in but you definitely know that things are not what you hoped and thought they would be. The longer you stay the worse gets.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

How to Survive a Divorce

Once you have reached this point and you have filed for divorce there is no point looking back, what has happened is in the past and you now need to look to what needs to be done to make the separation easier and start planning for the future.

Don't go blaming yourself and don't start thinking of yourself as a failure. Divorce happens and so you and your partner haven't got the marriage idea quite right but you now need to learn from any mistakes, let go and move on.

I know it's easy for me to say and the concept of divorce is probably a crushing blow but you can and you will survive this. You know your marriage and you know it can't be saved and that you are seeking divorce with good reason. It makes sense to move on.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Save Marriage, Stop Divorce And Enjoy Your Time With The Loved One!

Here are some small steps that will mean a big difference in your marriage:
  1. Each of you must make a list with the problems in your marriage;
  2. After you make the list ,start discussing every problem that you wrote on the paper;
  3. On the list that you've created establish some goals which involve solving all the problems and of course achieve the goals;
  4. If you want to recover your relationship then try to do some fun activities together, something that you both like or something that you've always wanted to do but didn't do.Now it's time to do it.

These small steps require patience but it saved a lot of marriages before and it could save yours too.

Life after Divorce - Will I Ever Love Again?

The end of a relationship is always tough whether or not it was your decision to end it. You may need to work through some of the following emotions:

Rejection

The person who has been left often experiences feelings of rejection. This can lead to being over critical about yourself - 'what did I do wrong?' 'What do I need to change?

Guilt

If you chose to end the relationship the chances are you are feeling guilty about hurting the person you love or used to love. However, it is sometimes appropriate to end a relationship because it is destructive to one or both partners.

Fear

It is natural to have some fear about venturing out on your own after being part of a couple. The first step is to face those fears - make a list of them and tackle them one at a time.

Anger

It is also natural to have some anger towards your ex and/or about your situation. However, whether this is good or bad depends on how you express that anger. Venting your anger directly at your ex is not helpful.

Grief

The end of a long-term relationship can be cause for grief but this is often not understood by people who have not been through it. Common symptoms of grief are feeling emotionally drained, not sleeping, pushing friends away if they get too close, lack of appetite, rapid mood changes and frequently sighing.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Divorce Statistics

A divorce decision should be about you and your partner not about a stack of failed marriages which form part of the latest divorce statistics. You are just kidding yourself if you believe divorce can be justified on the grounds of the misfortune of others. Don't we spend our lives trying not to become a mere statistic so shouldn't it be the same with divorce.